Do or Die Dodgers

Did you see Cole Hamels at the press conference last night? With his hair all nicely combed and styled? I'm not gonna lie to you, that is one good looking boy. The Dodgers have no chance.

First of all, I'd like to congratulate the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. You guys managed to win 100 regular season games and even took a game off the defending champion Red Sox in the ALDS. You did all this with two good (at best) pitchers, and three average pitchers manning your rotation. But then again, in a season where Dustin Pedroia almost outslugs David Ortiz, I guess anything is possible.

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ANGELS PITCHING? But don't let my biased dislike for the Angels give you the wrong idea. The Halos easily deserved to be in the playoffs. All I'm saying is that they had no business winning 100 games, nor did they have any realistic shot at the World Series this year. In any case, the Angels are out, so let's focus our attention on a team that still matters. Now about them Dodgers...

In my relentless efforts to prove how doomed the Angels were in the postseason, I forgot to mention one thing: the Dodgers were more doomed. Easily one of the two weakest teams in the postseason, I'm not sure if the Dodgers belonged here this year. Dodger fans love making the case that the acquisition of Manny Ramirez and Casey Blake completely transformed this team. They say that Manny's presence alone has improved those around him. But let's look at this statistically. What changed, really? Matt Kemp and James Loney? They've been just as productive since Manny's arrival, no more, no less. Jeff Kent? Just as much of a non-factor since Manny's arrival as he was before. Andruw Jones? HAHAHA Andruw Jones. So fine. Andre Ethier temporarily lost his mind and slugged nine home runs during a three-week stretch, but he has since returned to normal, and hasn't hit a home run in nearly five weeks. Was Ethier simply maturing and coming into his own as a young, talented hitter? Was he inflicted with a temporary bit of amnesia and suddenly think he was Shawn Green? Whatever the reason, it probably doesn't have much to do with Manny.

So the Dodgers are sending out Chad Billingsley to face off against Cole Hamels tonight in their own do or die game. In fact, they're doing so at this very moment. Billingsley has been the Dodgers most dominant pitcher since the All-Star Break, and will try to rebound from his miserable performance in Game 2. Cole Hamels has been dominant all season, and has continued this dominance in the postseason. And when you have an offense as awesome as the Phillies offense, there really isn't much you can do but sit down on the floor and cry.

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Two of AtA's Finest

Ever wonder what AtA writers talk about amongst themselves when they're not writing?


Brian Chen: Damn.

Adriel Carolino: ?

Brian Chen: Steelers are 4 point underdogs against Jags. Is Willie Parker still out?

Adriel Carolino: I dunno. They're underdogs? Really?

Brian Chen: Yea, I guess trends play a lot in these odds. They've been terrible lately.

Adriel Carolino: Aren't they undefeated?

Brian Chen: They lost to Philly.

Adriel Carolino: Ok so they're 3-1. Plus they barely lost to Philly...

Brian Chen: They scored a combined 16 points against Cleveland and Philly.

Adriel Carolino: Philly is good so I dunno about that one. But yea they sucked at Cleveland. It was a horrible weather day though. If Parker is up, I think they can win.

Brian Chen: What's so special about the Jags? Passing game is unimpressive. Running game is bad.

Adriel Carolino: Their defense is sick. How is their running game bad? It's good.

Brian Chen: ...How is their running game good?

Adriel Carolino: Taylor and Drew are good. They're legitimately good.

Brian Chen: Not this year...

Adriel Carolino: Not so far this year...

Brian Chen: But you can't just go by potential, you have to go by actual production.

Adriel Carolino: So you'd take Lee Evans over Plaxico Burress? I mean, Taylor and Drew both had over 100 yards against the Colts. That's not bad. Last game wasn't that great but they still got rushing production overall. But I still think Pitt is better.

Brian Chen: Yea. Hahaha I love ESPN anchors.

Adriel Carolino: You keep saying that...

Brian Chen: "If you don't think this is awesome, you need to take awesome lessons." They're seriosuly geniuses.

Adriel Carolino: That sounds like Barney Stinson. Dude I'm pretty excited about the Dodgers.

Brian Chen: Hahah, dude we just spent all class discussing the Angels and Dodgers. And whether or not they have a chance at the World Series this year.

Adriel Carolino: I don't think either have great chances.

Brian Chen: I got hated on because I was bashing on Angels' pitching.

Adriel Carolino: Dude their pitching is solid. Lackey and Santana is one of the top duos in the league.

Brian Chen: Meh, I'll still take Beckett and Dice-K in the postseason.

Adriel Carolino: I dunno, I think Dice-K is more hittable.

Brian Chen: Dude, Dice-K is UNhittable. He may walk a lot, but he is unhittable. His BAA is .211!

Adriel Carolino: Whatever, I still think the Cubs have the sickest pitching in the majors. I'm terrified of Cubs' pitching.

Brian Chen: I'm not buying Cubs' pitching. Dempster is overperforming. I'm just waiting for him to get lit up. Z is slumping. But Harden is filthy, though.

Adriel Carolino: Yea, Harden is a monster. And Wood can close. But I have a feeling they're gonna burn out like that Astro's team.

Brian Chen: Doesn't matter, World Series champs are gonna be Phillies. They're way too stacked. And J-Roll is too good.

Adriel Carolino: Is the Phillies' bullpen any good?

Brian Chen: I'm not sure who they are, but they've been getting the job done.

Adriel Carolino: Hahaha I had J-Roll before he was good. I was like, cool black shortstop. He was athletic and stole bases but couldn't do anything else. That was back in high school though. I think the Brewers are screwed because everything depends on CC and Braun.

Brian Chen: Dude they have Sheets. And Gallardo's starting Game 1 I think. He was solid last year. Plus their lineup is pretty stacked also.

Adriel Carolino: Meh, Kendall is past his prime. Prince is a stupid vegan. Counsell just sucks. And Hardy is barely decent.

Brian Chen: Ok when I say, "Brewer lineup is stacked," I'm clearly not referring to Jason Kendall.

Adriel Carolino: Wait, why is Sheets not listed on their rotation? DUDE SHEETS ISN'T PLAYING.

Brian Chen: Omg. You're right. A torn muscle near his pitching elbow. He's done, and so are the Brewers.

Adriel Carolino: Yea, I thought so.

Brian Chen: Plus, they're playing the Phillies. They have no chance. Cole Hamels is such a gangster.

Adriel Carolino: If the Brewers put CC on the mound for three straight games, they have a chance.

Brian Chen: Honestly, I think he can do it. I really think he can do it.

Adriel Carolino: Yea I know. I'm not kidding. That fat monster. He can go 11 straight games. Get them to the Series. Then chill. Then if they lose the first three, he'll pitch out the next four games. He's like a camel in the desert...

Brian Chen: Hahahha, he's so god damn huge. He's like Prince Fielder's father.

Adriel Carolino: No, Cecil Fielder is Prince Fielder's father.

Brian Chen: ...It was a joke, asshole.

Adriel Carolino: He's like Prince's twin, except blown up x2. So who do you think will go all the way?

Brian Chen: Phillies. Their offense is absolutely unstoppable. But Burrell's back is questionable right now. But even without Burrell they will still outslug any team in the playoffs right now.

Adriel Carolino: See, that's why I wanted a Phillies hat.

Brian Chen: Yea dude, you should get a Phillies hat. The Phillies are sick.


Will Adriel get a Phillies hat? Tune in next time...

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