NFL Opening Week: Priority List

The NFL season looms, with question marks everywhere throughout the league. How badly injured are the Super QB Duo of Brady and Manning? What is Brett Favre going to do in a different shade of green, and can he shift the New York spotlight from the champion Giants? How are the Saints going to deal with Hurricane Gustav? Individuals face new challenges and teams fight for supremacy, all while mother nature wreaks more havoc than Justin Tuck facing that porous Patriot line. Some solutions will be found immediately, while others need an entire season's worth of information. We here can only go week by week, however, thus the seven games to watch for during week one of the NFL season:

• Washington Redskins at New York Giants (Thurs., Sept. 4): The opening game of the season, featuring the newly crowned kings of New York. The Giants have done a bit to cover the loss of Osi Umenyiora, but is it enough to uphold the previously dominant D-line? And can the ever-inconsistent Eli Manning continue to shine and actually earn his Oreo commercial contract? If Clinton Portis runs all over New York and Jason Campbell runs his offense efficiently, the Champs are going to have all they can handle.
  

• New York Jets at Miami Dolphins (Sun., Sept. 7): Brett Favre is manning a new ship; for the first time in FIFTEEN years, we'll see Favre in something other than a Packers jersey. To add to this drama, the quarterback the Jets shunted away due to Favre's presence faces his old team in the very first game of his season. Chad Pennington will be out for revenge against the team he had spent his previous eight years with. With a downgraded Dolphins defense, Pennington will need to step up, as Favre shouldn't be too challenged; if Brett is, however, he might need yet another retirement ceremony this year.
  

• Kansas City Chiefs at New England Patriots (Sun., Sept. 7): The 18-1 Patriots. Never before has one loss meant so much. Brooding in his hole all summer long, one can only assume that Darth Belichick has another evil plan lined up for this year. Then again, if Brady, Moss, Maroney, and the gang can get even close to their play last year, Darth over there won't have to boil up anything too diabolical. Oh yea, the Chiefs aren't too bad either, barring another injury to Larry Johnson. This should be a fun game.
  

• Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints (Sun., Sept. 7): What's going to happen with Gustav still blowing? The Saints offense is fully loaded, but if they can't even take the field, what's the point? Tampa Bay survives year after year, plowing along with a team that no one ever expects much out of. This would be a great game, but will the city of New Orleans be ready? Most of southern Louisiana has evacuated, so say Gustav does blow over, will anyone even be present at the game?

• Dallas Cowboys at Cleveland Browns (Sun., Sept. 7): The game most likely to be immensely competitive. Dallas is being listed as a Super Bowl favorite, while the Browns figure to go deep into the postseason. Tony Romo vs. Derek Anderson. Terrell Owens vs. Braylon Edwards. Jamal Lewis vs. Marion Barber. Both defenses are also quite talented. Hell, I'd watch the game on the sole hope that Pac-Man Jones goes crazy and starts choking TO on the sidelines. Oh yea, and Josh Cribbs is a ridiculously entertaining player to watch.

• Chicago Bears at Indianapolis Colts (Sun., Sept. 7): A rematch of the Super Bowl from two years ago sees a game likely to be nowhere nearly as exciting. The Bears offense is in shambles, though the defense can still compete. The Colts are as powerful as ever, as long as Peyton is healthy. Devin Hester's increased presence on the field can only make things more exciting, however, as he's a potential score with every touch.

• Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers (Mon., Sept. 8): The Vikings are reloaded on D, and Adrian Peterson is ready to show how good he really is. The Packers face a Favre-less backfield for the first time in over a decade. It's time to see if the Green Bay receivers were as talented as they played like last year, or if last seasons deep run was just a fluke. Aaron Rodgers faces an extraordinarily difficult test to begin his career; not many people face such a stacked D while under the pressure of replacing the face of a franchise, all of this happening at home. Half of Green Bay worshiped Favre as a god, so I wouldn't be surprised to see the boo birds coming out early of Rodgers can't produce.
  

Good luck stopping this man GB.

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Back Off, Brett

My dear friend and ATA creator, Brian P., once characterized Brett Favre as the heartbreaker of the NFL. While I'm not going to disagree that Favre was indeed the greatest player in the NFL for several years (though not fond of the Packers, it's hard for anyone to deny Favre), I'm going to have to doubt Brian's claim that Brett wears any of the pants in this relationship.

It's true that Brett screwed with all our emotions, it is - we followed his success, grew with him, glorified him, grieved and shed just as many if not more tears at the news of his "retirement." After mourning a legend's departure, we were finally ready to move on.

The Packers found new beau, Aaron Rodgers, who, at this point, is probably trying hard to avoid all the drama instilled upon by jealous ex, Favre. This time, both we and the NFL are in no position to be played. Bretty boy is acting like a psycho ex who can't take a hint. He's whipped, by the NFL, by the Packers. Seems like they've got him around their little finger. Sadly, but surely, we are all ready to move on...

Word has it our quarterback's been throwing to local high school players; maybe this gave Brett all the taste of retirement that he needed. Either way, quite frankly, I'm tired of the boy who cried wolf.

My advice to Brett?
Leave while you're still, in the slightest bit, respected as the record-setting MVP quarterback we all know and love. Take the Packers up on the supposed $20 mil they are offering you to stay away. Take all of the offerings, for that matter, that they seem to be throwing at you to simply get out of the picture. Take the hint(s)! Don't show up to camp. Don't show up at all. How likely is it that, in the case that a trade ensues, Green Bay will trade you off to a winning rival team like the Vikings?

And lastly, run before the Madden Curse gets you, too.

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Come on Brett, Baby. Really?

Shocking news coming out of the football scene recently. Shocking because it's not-so-shocking. What exactly is shocking and not so shocking at the same time?

Brett Favre's Un-retirement.

We all love Brett dearly. We all are so very thankful for what he has done for football and his amazing ability to put a place like "Green Bay, Wisconsin" on the map.

Indeed Green Bay, I don't believe that you would exist without Brett Favre. You're entire city would flicker off into an inefficiency between quantum particles and their interdependecy with strong and weak forces.

If you don't believe me, it's all detailed in String Theory. It's actually going to be researched in August 2008 with the unveilling of the Large Hardon Collider. Make sure you understand string theory before you try to argue with me.

But back to the matter at hand.

Favre was unequivocally the greatest player in my football universe for years. Right up until March 2008, in fact. Right up until he retired.

So let's not make a big mess out of this situation, shall we? You're screwing with so many people's emotions, Brett, baby.

This is like getting dumped by that indescribably amazing girl that you ran into at the 7-11 on free slurpee day. It seemed like you guys had the perfect relationship, but after one of your best years, it all came tumbling down. And then after spending the next 3 months at home willowing over what could have been, you're finally able to take a step forward with your life. And BAM! You see her with another dude, who is smarter and more tan.

Because that's what's gonna happen Green Bay fans. Your Brett, baby, is going to go to a nicer city than yours. Why? Because almost all cities are greater than yours. And almost anywhere else in the continental US will he be able to get a better tan.

Don't do this Brett! Don't complicate this relationship even further than it needs to be.

Just reading the language in Green Bay's statement shows you that they've just begun to move on.

"Brett's press conference and subsequent conversations in the following weeks illustrated his commitment to retirement," the news release added. "The finality of his decision to retire was accepted by the organization. At that point, the Green Bay Packers made the commitment to move forward with our football team."

If you just happen to have a record season under a new team, the sting of the divorce will last forever. So come on Brett, Baby. Really?

BTW, you know that ATA (After the Anthem) loves Green Bay! We love all the Bays. Even you Chesapeake!

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