Shocking news coming out of the football scene recently. Shocking because it's not-so-shocking. What exactly is shocking and not so shocking at the same time?
Brett Favre's Un-retirement.
We all love Brett dearly. We all are so very thankful for what he has done for football and his amazing ability to put a place like "Green Bay, Wisconsin" on the map.
Indeed Green Bay, I don't believe that you would exist without Brett Favre. You're entire city would flicker off into an inefficiency between quantum particles and their interdependecy with strong and weak forces.
If you don't believe me, it's all detailed in String Theory. It's actually going to be researched in August 2008 with the unveilling of the Large Hardon Collider. Make sure you understand string theory before you try to argue with me.
But back to the matter at hand.
Favre was unequivocally the greatest player in my football universe for years. Right up until March 2008, in fact. Right up until he retired.
So let's not make a big mess out of this situation, shall we? You're screwing with so many people's emotions, Brett, baby.
This is like getting dumped by that indescribably amazing girl that you ran into at the 7-11 on free slurpee day. It seemed like you guys had the perfect relationship, but after one of your best years, it all came tumbling down. And then after spending the next 3 months at home willowing over what could have been, you're finally able to take a step forward with your life. And BAM! You see her with another dude, who is smarter and more tan.
Because that's what's gonna happen Green Bay fans. Your Brett, baby, is going to go to a nicer city than yours. Why? Because almost all cities are greater than yours. And almost anywhere else in the continental US will he be able to get a better tan.
Don't do this Brett! Don't complicate this relationship even further than it needs to be.
Just reading the language in Green Bay's statement shows you that they've just begun to move on.
"Brett's press conference and subsequent conversations in the following weeks illustrated his commitment to retirement," the news release added. "The finality of his decision to retire was accepted by the organization. At that point, the Green Bay Packers made the commitment to move forward with our football team."If you just happen to have a record season under a new team, the sting of the divorce will last forever. So come on Brett, Baby. Really?
BTW, you know that ATA (After the Anthem) loves Green Bay! We love all the Bays. Even you Chesapeake!
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