Buy A Pencil, OJ

He averaged nearly 21 points as a freshman in one of the strongest conferences the Pac-10 has ever produced. He scored in double figures in every game this year but one.

He led the Trojans of USC to wins over UCLA, Stanford, Oklahoma, and Arizona, resulting in a second straight NCAA tournament berth.

It’s hard to imagine how this future millionaire and NBA all-star can possibly “owe” me anything, but it’s true.

OJ Mayo owes me big time.

It was February 21^st, 12:28pm, and I had just pulled an all-nighter studying for my Sociology midterm. As I sat at my desk eagerly waiting to start the 25-question exam, I heard the classroom door swing open. Assuming it was just another student who had barely made it to class on time, I didn’t bother looking up. Suddenly, my ears perked.

“Ey what up OJ!”

There’s no way. There’s no way that could be OJ Mayo. I had never once seen him in lecture. I finally decided to look up. Sure enough, dressed from head to toe in a bright red Trojan warm-up was our 6 feet 4 inch freshman guard. Temporarily star-struck, it took me a few seconds to realize that there was a vacant seat to my right. The very seat OJ Mayo was walking toward. The very seat OJ Mayo sat down in.

“What up man, you study for this thing?”

I was determined to play it cool with my response.

“Yea kind of. It shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Yea I hope so. I just wanna finish this thing and get the hell up outta here.”

I took out my phone to check the time. 12:33pm. I looked around for the professor. She had started handing out the tests, but was still well in front of where I was sitting. I had plenty of time. Making a point to keep my facial expression casual as my fingers furiously typed away, I sent a text message to each of my closest friends: “I AM TAKING MY MIDTERM NEXT TO OJ MAYO RIGHT NOW.” Send. Power off. Then I put my phone back in my pocket.

The professor had finally made her way to our row when I realized the reason why I was sitting here in the first place: I still had a midterm to take. As I tried to refocus myself, OJ’s voice rudely chimed back into my head.

“Ey dawg, you have an extra pencil I could borrow?”

I looked through my backpack for an extra pencil, found one, and handed it to him. Of course, that is what I should have done. This is what I actually did:

“Yea dude. Here, take this one.” I handed him the perfectly sharpened pencil that was already in my hand, the only pencil that I had. I dug through my backpack and found only a pen, a useless instrument for the scantron the professor had just handed me. Frantically trying to figure out what to do, I arrived at three possible courses of action.

Option A: I raise my hand to ask the professor for a pencil, who would likely agree and hand me one. But by verbally making this request, OJ would undoubtedly consider me a moron for loaning him my only pencil. I quickly discarded this option.

Option B: I kindly ask OJ for my pencil back, apologizing for mistakenly giving him my only pencil. However, as the first person in human history to do this, I would be portraying a shameful level of idiocy to OJ. This seemed even less logical than Option A.

Finally, Option C: I can read through the exam, mark the answers on the side with my pen, and wait for OJ to finish and give my pencil back. I decided to go with Option C, gambling that OJ would finish his exam with enough time for me to transfer my answers.

True to his word, OJ finished that thing, and got the hell up outta there. In fact, he was one of the first to finish, and even remembered to give my pencil back. I transferred my answers from my exam to my scantron, and finished the test well within the hour time limit.

Whether I go on to accomplish anything significant or not, I will always be able to say that I let OJ Mayo borrow my pencil for a Sociology midterm. OJ, if you’re reading this, you owe me. You owe me big time.

A final note: there doesn’t appear to be a profitable market on eBay for “pencil used by OJ Mayo” yet. I think I’ll keep it for now.

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NBA Draft Lottery Breakdown

1 Chicago Derrick Rose 6'4 195 G Memphis
Easy pick for Chicago. Derrick Rose will follow in the path of Deron Williams and Chris Paul and prove how an athletic 1-guard can lead a team to success. Added benefit: Chicago can begin unloading their crowded (and overpaid) backcourt (Hinrich @ 11million, Hughes @ 12mil) and trade for legitimate front court players, veteran leadership, or cleared cap space.

2 Miami Michael Beasley 6'9 235 F Kansas St.
Miami would have loved Rose here, but instead they got the NCAA's top scorer last season (dammit all). Hopefully Mr. Beasley can mature quickly and prove how impressive his offensive arsenal is in the NBA; it would definitely make it easier on Wade. Oh, one more thing Miami, I heard NY and Chicago both have too many guards, all of whom are better than Jason Williams and Marcus Banks.

3 Minnesota O.J. Mayo 6'5 215 G USC
I have to be honest, I am not a big fan of OJ Mayo, nor do I believe in his potential. But he's athletic, has a lot of offensive moves, and people can't stop talking about him. In the future he's going to be one of those Larry Hughes type of players, always decent but never reaching perceived potential.

4 Seattle Russell Westbrook 6'3 180 G UCLA

Young gun from UCLA displayed tons of potential in the Final Four game, displaying poise, athleticisim, speed, defense, and offensive capabilities. He might have been picked pretty high but Westbrook brings defense, strength and intensity, skills Seattle definitely needs.

5 Memphis Kevin Love 6'10 250 C UCLA
People can't stop raving about the big man's full court chest passes but other than that, I havn't heard much else. He's a power player going into the NBA (uh-oh) and he actually lost weight (uh-oh), but he has a decent midrange shot, will play scrappy, and his height and overall girth should make him a rebounding force.

6 New York Danilo Gallinari 6'9 209 F
From what I hear, this kid is good. Great shooter and plays at a high level on the Italian team, but on a team as screwed up as New York with Marbury, Randolph and Curry, I believe his talents will go under the radar.

7 LA Clippers Eric Gordon 6'4 215 G Indiana
Love this pick for the Clippers. With Livingston returning from injury (once again), Elton Brand, Al Thornton, and Chris Kaman manning the front line, the best shooter in the draft should definitely help create interior space and provide security for when Corey Maggette finally leaves the Clippers.

8 Milwaukee Joe Alexander 6'8 225 F West Virginia
Joe Alexander was amazing in the NCAA tournament and continued to wow scouts in pre-draft workouts. This guy is explosive, aggressive, and oh yeah, he has a silky shot. Too bad he won't see too much playing time with the arrival of Richard Jefferson.

9 Charlotte D.J. Augustin 5'11 175 G Texas
I truly enjoy watching small guards such as Augustin but the height and length of the NBA is too much for them. Unless Augustin can prove to become an outstanding shooter, I don't expect much from this 1-guard.

10 New Jersey Brook Lopez 7'0 240 F Stanford
Always great to find a 7 footer who's not 100 pounds. Brook Lopez is decently sized, posesses a strong offensive game, and will help out on the defense end. Poor man's Tim Duncan.

11 Indiana Jerryd Bayless 6'3 193 G Arizona
This was only about the lottery picks, but this man should be top 10. Bayless is absolutely explosive and displays great elevation on his jumpers and drives. Great scorer, great intensity, a bit of a steal at the 11 spot.

Rookie of the Year goes to...
OJ Mayo. Contrary to my doubts about him, he's in the best position to display his talents. With no one to challenge him for a starting position at the 2-guard, he should eclipse the other rookies with the playing time he receives; not fair but that' s how it's going to go. Beasley a close second.

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