You Haven't Won Yet, Lebron

Ok I know you're about to sweep a battered Detroit squad that shouldn't even be in the playoffs. But come on, aren't we getting a little cocky?



Oh and, nice try, but the Heineken version was funnier.

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A Rocket Resurrection

A few weeks ago, most people would have looked at Houston's injury situation and quickly dismissed them as a playoff contender. With Tracy McGrady out for the reason, Ron Artest hobbled by a bothersome ankle, and Rafer Alston gone and rookie Aaron Brooks as the new starting point guard, it was difficult to see the Rockets holding onto their playoff spot in the talented Western Conference. But now, with their most recent road win against the San Anotnio Spurs, the Rockets have taken over the second seed in the Western Conference standings and have also legitimized themselves as contenders.

For the Rockets, this was a game of unlikely heroics. And with the Spurs effectively choking off the Rockets' most effective source of offensive production by fronting yao in the post for most of the fourth quarter, such heroics were certainly necessary. After Tony Parker hit a jumper in the lane to put the Spurs up by six points, a few unsung Rockets went to work. Shane Battier hit a three that cut the deficit in half. He then terrorized Roger Mason Jr. on the defensive end, forcing him to lose the ball. Battier dove on the ball, forced a jump ball with Tim Duncan, and alsmost inexplicably, won the jump.

"Very few people beat Tim Duncan on a jump ball," Battier noted proudly. "That's a pretty cool accomplishment. I'm more proud of that than hitting the three's. He's on of the best all-time. I probably did steal it a bit." After stopping the Spurs on another possession, Brooks was able to hit one of his two field goals all game to give Houston an 82-81 lead. After the Spurs took the lead back 83-82, Yao was ready to lead his team. The Spurs, however, would wisely force someone else to be the hero.

On the next Rocket possession, yao took a pass from Brooks in the post and was double-teamed. He found Luis Scoa wide open under the basket for an easy layup that put the Rockets back on top 84-83. At the other end, however, Parker flew right past Yao, needing just nine seconds to give his Spurs the lead right back 85-84. Once again, Houston turned to their 7 foot 6 inch leader. And once again, Yao responded - with another assis. San Antonio double-teamed Yao the second he touched the ball, and forced someone else to beat them. Luis Scola did just that - with another layup.

"I wasn't expecting Yao to throw it," Scola admitted. "Fortunately, he passed it, I made it, we won." Having shown their capability to deal with adversity, against a top tier team, on the road, when their best player is taken out of the play, Houston's playoff prospects look bright.

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Sports Bets: Picks of the Day

Current record: 6-5

I realize my tally yesterday was an unimpressive 3-2, but I just want the record to show that my two losses were by a combined 1.5 points. The Nuggets Thunder spread was 2, Nuggets won by 1. The Cavs Knicks spread was 5.5, Cavs won by 5. So yes, Jim Carey, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

2/5/09 NBA Games

1. Los Angeles Lakers (+7) @ Boston Celtics (-7). Finally, the game we've all been waiting for. Despite Bynum's emergence as the league's second best center (that's right Yao Ming) and subsequent season-ending knee injury, Kobe and the Lakers have shown that they are more than able to win without him. The Lakers are seven point dogs tonight in Boston and are getting +250 straight up. A number of factors likely contribute to this line: Lakers are playing back to back, Andrew Bynum is out, and KG is back. However, KG is still not fully healthy, and the number of minutes he's going to play is questionable. Kobe is on an absolute tear. And finally, the Lakers have been thirsting for redemption since last June. Enjoy the Laker victory tonight everyone. Lakers straight up***

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Sports Bets: Picks of the Day

Current record: 3-3

After a mediocre 1-2 showing two weeks ago to drop my record to 3-3, I have been too embarrassed to show my face in public for some time now. However, as is usually the case with gambling, my luck took a quick turn, and I went a magical 5-0 one day earlier this week, and my confidence has been renewed. So rejoice sports bettors, I am back.

2/4/09 NBA Games

1. Portland Blazers (+3.5) @ Dallas Mavericks (-3.5). Since their horrendous blowout loss to Boston last week, the Mavs have reeled off three consecutive victories over the Warriors, Heat, and Magic. The Mavs now return home to Dallas, rested and hungry to extend their winning streak over the young Blazers. Mavs to cover****

2. Chicago Bulls (+1.5) @ New Orleans Hornets (-1.5). The young Bulls have exceeded mediocre expectations with enormous wins, proving they are more than capable. The Hornets, on the other hand, have been inconsistent and have disappointed much higher expectations. Tonight, the Hornets are at home, without Chris Paul. WITHOUT CHRIS PAUL. In the words of our very own Adriel Carolino, "Who the hell is gonna run the offense?" Bulls to cover***

3. New Jersey Nets (0) @ Washington Wizards (0). You might be asking, how the hell is this game a wash? Well, the Nets played last night. The Wizards are at home. But here's something you might not have known. The Nets are actually better on the road than they are at home. And here's something you already knew. The Wizards are absolute garbage. Nets to cover (which is essentially straight up)****

4. Denver Nuggets (-2) @ Oklahoma City Thunder (+2). After earning my trust and respect last month with some very impressive victories, the Thunder threw it right back at me with losses to the Kings and the Clippers. Tonight, the Thunder host a Nugget squad that towers over them. Chauncey Billups is questionable, but with the return of Melo, Denver should be just fine. Who does OKC have to stop Nene from posting another one of his absurd 9-9 FG games? Nobody. Nuggets to cover***

5. Cleveland Caveliers (-5.5) @ New York Knicks (+5.5). The Cavs have regained the most vital piece of dominance: Big Z. With his strong defense, rebounding, and solid post game, Z slows the game down to the pace that the Cavs play best at. Cleveland was a solid team without Z, but nowhere near the dominant force they are with him in the lineup. With three straight double digit victories since Z's return, the Cavs are once again scary as hell. The streaky Knicks don't stand a chance. Good luck Chris Duhon! Cavs to cover****

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Sports Bets: Picks of the Day

Current record: 2-1

1/17/09 NBA Games

1. Miami Heat (+3.5) @ Houston Rockets (-3.5). So the Rockets are at home, where they're 12-5, but they are still hobbled without T-Mac and Artest. If Wade and Marion look to run on every possession, which I'm assuming they will, Yao will get tired fast. The Heat are getting +140 here. Bet on the Heat straight up. ****

2. Milwaukee Bucks (-3) @ Los Angeles Clippers (+3). Leading at one point last night by 21 points, the Kings went on a tear to cut the deficit to one point. The superior Bucks, however, held on to cover the spread, and helped redeem my record after the Knicks pissed away their game in the final three minutes. In any case, the Clippers are a joke (3-16 at home), and are still without Baron Davis and Zach Randolph. Seriously, Vegas? 3 points? Bucks to cover the spread. ****

3. Orlando Magic (+1) @ Denver Nuggets (-1). As I've discussed with my partners here at ATA, the Nuggets are clearly a better team without Melo. They're home record is impressive (16-5). Unfortunately, with Superman and Jameer Nelson playing as well as they are, not even the cool Denver air will be enough to help the Nuggets win this one. Orlando to cover the spread (which is pretty much straight up). ***

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Sports Bets: Picks of the Day

Howdy sports fans. As a new installment here at ATA, I will be giving you sports gamble-holics (that means you Andy Shin) a handful of picks a few times a week, in either the NBA, NFL, or NCAA football. After each pick, I will label the pick with 1-5 stars, representing how strong of a pick this is. I will also keep a running tally of my wins and losses, thus giving you an idea of my credibility (or luck) as a sports analyst.

For those of you who are new to the sports betting world, I will give you a brief introduction to some of the terms. Anytime you see a plus or minus single or double digit number, this denotes the spread. The plus indicates underdog, the minus indicates favorite. For example, if you see -9 next to the San Antonio Spurs and a +9 next to the Los Angeles Lakers, you know that the Spurs are nine point favorites and the Lakers are nine point underdogs (likely because of crooked refs). When you are looking to bet on a team straight up, you look at the money line, which will again show a plus and a minus number, both indicating the same things as before. But unlike the spread, the money line shows you exactly how much your money will earn you. For underdogs, if you see +300, this means that every $100 that you bet, you will win $300 (if your underdog comes through, of course). For favorites, if you see -450, this means that you must wager $450 in order to win $100. Finally, the over/under aspect simply refers to the point total of the game. Pretty simple stuff.

1/16/09 NBA Games

1. New York Knicks (+2) @ Washington Wizards (-2). Coming off a 128-122 shootout at the Garden, New York now travels to Washington for a rematch. How were the lowly Wizards able to keep last night's game so close? By shooting 60% from the field, and 71% from 3. Nick Young dropped 33 points in 33 minutes and missed four shots out of a combined 24 shot attempts. Who wants to bet that this won't happen again? Sure the Knicks shot 54% and 54%, respectively, themselves, but NY is naturally a much more prolific three-point shooting team. Forget the fact that Washington's at home; the Knicks will still force their fast-tempo high-scoring style on the Wizards. For those of you who prefer statistics, here's one: Washington is 1-9 in games when the point total is >210. Last night, 250 points were scored. Good luck, Washington. Knicks straight up. ****

2. Milwaukee Bucks (-2) @ Sacramento Kings (+2). Ah, here's what we look for as sports bettors. Deviations from the norm that influence Las Vegas to release skewed lines and spreads. The Kings are absolutely terrible. Sure Kevin Martin has been injured all season, but they're still only 3-6 since his return, and one of those wins was against the Clippers (which shouldn't even count), so we'll say 2-6. What do I mean by deviation from the norm? I mean scoring 135 points when you only average 98. I mean managing to keep up with the high-flying Warriors for seven periods. I mean Brad Miller scoring 30 points and grabbing 22 rebounds (fantasy owners, you know exactly what I'm talking about). Milwaukee, on the other hand, is not a bad team. At 8-15 on the road, they have one more road win than Utah! Expect the Bucks to easily cover the generous 2 point spread that Vegas has gifted us this holiday season. ****

3. Orlando Magic (+4) @ Los Angeles Lakers (-4). Laker fans will curse me. Especially our very own Adriel Carolino, who, considering his immense sports knowledge, inexplicably believes that his beloved Lakers can do no wrong. Wake up Carolino, and world, the Lakers are not that good. Granted, Kobe is half-human half-god, but he is still half-human, which means he's not going to be able to bail out the Lakers with clutch baskets night after night. Who knows, maybe Bynum will actually be able to stick with Superman this time and stay in the game for more than 11 minutes? Maybe not. Magic straight up. ***

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Point Guard Issues

In Wednesday's Lakers game versus the San Antonio Spurs, the Lakers found themselves in an extremely difficult situation; they had no point guards.

Jordan Farmar is recovering from knee surgery, Sasha Vujacic is suffering from back spasms, Sun Yue is afraid to play competitive basketball, and Derek Fisher suffered a minor groin tweak. To sum up the situation in Wednesday's game, the Lakers were playing Trevor Ariza, Vladimir Radmanovic, Lamar Odom, Josh Powell, and Andrew Bynum. Average height: 6'10". Success rate: Poor. Please note that the Spurs were playing three guards and the Lakers were forced to settle for jumpers. Oh! Tim Duncan was on the bench too.

The Lakers do not necessarily need immediate help at the one position, but they are definitely in a strange position without a 1-guard to defend the quicker guards in the league. Derek Fisher, in his elongated playing time, has proven to be a terrific shooter and a decent defender, but the Lakers have to be worried about playing the aging Fisher 40+ minutes a game.

As an avid Lakers fan, the point guard situation is not a huge issue because the Lakers have the triangle offense and this guy named Kobe Bryant. What does bother me is that Derek Fisher lost us the game that Kobe salvaged. Rant rant rant. Sigh. Orlando Magic on Friday, tune in.

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2008's Best Commercial: T-Mobile ft. Wade and Barkley

TIME Magazine has chosen the following T-Mobile commercial featuring Dwayne Wade and Charles Barkley as the best of 2008. Sweet!  

BTW, don't be fooled by how good Chuck comes off here. He is undoubtedly still a dumbass.

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NBA Top Plays of November

Thoughts?

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Sean Avery Suspended for Being Hilarious

Sean Avery, star defensemen of the Dallas Stars, has been indefinitely suspended for his remarks regarding his "sloppy seconds." Before we go any further, please please please watch his remarks. Thank you

Crass? Yes.
Crude? Yes.
Hilarious?? Yes!

But isn't an indefinite suspension a bit much? Now, before we go any futher, I'm sure you would like to know who the sloppy seconds are, and just who is taking them. So, please please please read further.

Avery is referencing his ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. She happens to be currently dating Dion Phaneuf of the Calgary Flame. Who is Elisha Cuthbert? She is:
While dating Sean Avery she looked like this (pictured with Avery):

And now, while dating Dion Phaneuf, she looks like this (pictured with Phaneuf):

It turns out that before dating Avery, Ms. Cuthbert had a relationship with Montreal Candian's defenseman Mike Komisarek. So, in fact Avery was the first one to get his hands dirty with "sloppy seconds".

Anyhow, the fact that this is the NHL of all leagues to put down this punishment is absurd. For those that have forgotten, the NHL is the league where you get to punch each other whilst taking the other person's shirt off and rolling around in the ice. It's also the league where sticks get to hit sticks no matter what size, but you can't hit someone's body with your stick (especially in the face), nor shove it up their butts. Wait, where was I... I completely got lost in making gross insinuations.

The point is, the NHL is the joke of the big North American sports leagues and it's none other than the management's fault for mismanaging operations.

The NHL even has something called the Sean Avery rule. Via Wikipedia:

Avery used a controversial tactic to screen the opposing goaltender. While essentially ignoring the play on the ice when his team had a two-man advantage, Avery faced Martin Brodeur and waved his hands and stick in front of Brodeur in an attempt to distract him and block his view. Although not illegal, many NHL commentators and players described Avery's actions as unsportsmanlike. The following day, the NHL issued an interpretation of the league's unsportsmanlike conduct rule to cover actions such as the one employed by Avery

See the play here:


Is what Avery did really unsportsmanlike there? The stick waving is a bit much, but when I see him screening the view of the goalie all I think about is a defender guarding the inbounder in basketball. Why shouldn't offensive players be allowed to obstruct a goalie's view??

And if there are still any Celtics fan-atics here from the KG post what Avery did is not like what KG did to Calderon. KG was blatantly taunting. Avery was still focused on scoring a goal.

All of these little punishments seem ironic because the NHL is so lax about fighting. Why I ask? Most likely, it is because half of the commercial appeal (to fans) is tied up in the fights amongst players. If the NHL would only realize that characters like Avery actually bring fans in, maybe they wouldn't hate him so much.

Avery is a pest, indeed. But he isn't the same breed as Ron Artest, or Pac-Man Jones. (Not being racist, I promise). He comes off a little smarter, and funnier. Kind of like Ocho Cinco. Avery is the bad guy you enjoy watching, but would probably hate interacting with.

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