The All-NBA Gridiron Team

Even though ESPN’s Sports Center is overrun by the upcoming NFL season, I really want the NBA season to hurry up and start. In my attempt to celebrate the massive anticipation of both leagues, I’ve decided to create my own football dream team, composed of NBA players.

Offense:

Quarterback: Allen Iverson. (pictured right) Considering his toughness, speed, and dominance as a high school quarterback, he is arguably the most qualified quarterback in the NBA. He’s the NFL’s Michael Vick… pre-dog-fighting.
Back-up: Kevin Love. First of all, good luck trying to sack a 6’10” 270 pound beast. And secondly, no one throws a quicker and more accurate deep ball than Kevin Love.

Running-back: Lebron James. You cannot bring down Lebron James. He’s too big, too strong, too athletic, too quick, and too fast for you and anyone else. I think every NFL team should try to convert 6’8” 240 pounders into running backs; championships guaranteed.
Back-ups: Baron Davis. Played high-school ball. Has an awesome beard.
Chris Paul: He’s quick, crafty, and has amazing vision. No one else works better in traffic than the elusive CP3.

Full-back: Derek Fisher. With his muscular lower body and dedication to getting low on defense, D-Fish will clear out some major space for the running backs. He is freaking buff.
Back-up: Tyrus Thomas. There’s nothing quite like brute strength to get rid of defenders. He also attended LSU where all students are required to understand the ins and outs of football, so he should know a thing or two about the sport.

Wide-receivers: Kevin Garnett. At 6’11”, very few people are better than him at catching lobs and alley-oops. His speed, athleticism, and focus should make every bomb and fade seem like a walk in the park. And if you do manage to get in the way, he will scream at you.
Dwyane Wade: Probably the best route runner in the NBA. His explosiveness and ability to change directions make him the most difficult player to defend without the ball. Unfortunately, the expiration date on his ankles is rapidly approaching.
Back-ups: Jamario Moon and Rudy Gay. The concept of football is simple. Throw the ball high in the air and Moon or Gay will jump and come down with it.

Tight end: Dwight Howard. If you’re the quarterback and Dwight Howard is your 6th blocker, you’re going to feel safe. Also reassuring is how well the 6’11” monster catches.
Back-up: Andrew Bynum. Not as intimidating as Dwight, but he’s a bigger body with softer hands.

O-line: I wanted to take the most physically gifted players with mass and put them on my offensive line. I highly doubt that you would feel confident in your pass rushing abilities when my seven guys averaging 6’10” 270 pounds know a thing or two about holding their ground.
LT: Jason Maxiell. Frightening powerhouse with sufficient speed to pick up blitzes and protect my potential quarterbacks’ blind sides.
LG: Kendrick Perkins. Big body and a filthy face.
C: Shaq O’Neal. Playground football; put the fattest kid as the snapper. Plus, he loves being the center of attention.
RG: Glen Davis. The last person who tried spent 3 months trying to get around “Big Baby.” Good luck getting to the QB.
RT: Matt Harping. WTF Matt Harping? He’s probably the most physical player on my line and he plays with a chip on his shoulder. His intimidation alone earns him a starting gig.
Back-ups: Jason and Jarron Collins. These big seven-foot brothers are terrible basketball players and most likely terrible football linemen; but 260 pounds should be somewhat effective.

Kicker: Steve Nash. Canadian.
Back-up: Kobe Bryant. His ability to speak Italian comes with soccer talent.


Defense:

D-line: Ben Wallace. Something about his mental capacity seems to match perfectly with football.
Marc Gasol. Seven feet tall and he reminds me of a hardcore outdoorsman. In my head he should be wielding an axe in a red flannel and Wrangler jeans when he’s not playing football.
Elton Brand. I see him as a brute force type of guy.
Mark Madsen. Every coach loves a Mark Madsen type player, even if he does lack athleticism, skill, speed…. But somehow he’ll make the play.

Linebackers: Ron Artest. He will probably win a fistfight versus anybody in the league, and that is because he probably hits really hard. Receivers and backs would most likely do "the quarterback slide" to avoid getting toppled by Artest.
Corey Maggette. Corey is the most chiseled man in the NBA and he wants to hit you hard.
Lamar Odom. LO is a notorious for his lack of inspired play, but when he is inspired, WATCH OUT.
Back-up: Maurice Evans. Think Corey Maggette, but not as buff. Mo Evans understands this and will take out his frustrations on the opposing team.

Cornerbacks: Kobe Bryant. There’s a reason he was called the Doberman during the Olympics, football shall not be any different.
Bruce Bowen. He does have the quickness and footwork to stay in front of any player, but really, the dirtiest player in the NBA should fit right at home in a full-contact game.
Back-up: Raja Bell.

Strong safety: James Posey. He’s quick and strong. But the deciding factor was his mouth-piece, which demonstrates that he’s prepared for violence of the gridiron.
Back-up: Kenyon Martin. Similar to Ben Wallace, he’s not very bright, but he is damn strong and athletic. I wouldn’t mind having a blue-collar guy like him knocking some sense into unsuspecting ball-carriers.

Free Safety: Nate Robinson. You should first be recapped on the NYK vs. Denver scrap a couple years back. You should notice how at 5’7” he is right in the middle of the squabble, not backing down to anyone. And even after his mini-altercation with JR Smith, he’s still punking Carmelo for sucker punching his teammate. Nate Robinson, you are the man.

Punter: Steve Nash. Canadian.

I just created an NFL dynasty team, now only if salaries were not an issue...