Letter to the Miami Heat fans

Dear Miami Heat fan,

All season long your pathetic team played horribly, 82 games and you won 15 games (good job Miami)? Either way, you endured a miserable NBA season, you need hope, you need change, you need someone to turn it around. No worries, the more losses you have, the better chance you will have to get the number one pick in the NBA draft. Congratulations on sucking.

By this time, you have one thing on your mind, "which college star is going to turn my team around?" For the first time since your season ended, you have hope- you might actually have a guy with talent on your team!

Draft lottery day finally comes around. You had the worst record in the NBA. You could not be happier. David Stern announces that the first overall pick in the NBA draft is going to a team that had over twice as many wins as you did. Silence. It is quite okay though, you get the second pick. And considering that the main two studs are Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley, you can't be blamed for making a poor draft choice.

Nonetheless, your team definitely needs help. You guys have one superstar, Dwyane Wade, but besides him you have absolutely no one. Yes, Shawn Marion is a fantasy basketball beast, but that doesn't mean he's good at basketball. Michael Beasley would definitely help, but trust me, you want Derrick Rose. You guys are desperate for a solid floor general, I know this because your point guards are Jason Williams and Marcus Banks, as a matter of fact, you guys even signed Smush Parker for a little while.


Shaquille O'Neal is getting fat in another city, Smush Parker isn't on your team, you're going to get either Beasley or Rose, and your players might stop being injured. As you can see, a lot of reasons to be hopeful. You're going to win 33 games next year!

Good luck!
-D