Cycles of Suckitude

"50 said go ahead switch ya style up,
and if they hate then let em hate,
and watch the money pile up."

Everyone's been writing about basketball and the Lakers, so I figured with my first post I'd switch the style up.

I like thinking that sports in the United States are awesome. And typically, that's right. NBA, MLB, NFL, and NHL are all the best leagues in the world for their respective sports.

What really irks me though, is the absolute atrociousness of American soccer. The MLS is simply a shit league. For a while, the signature player of the MLS was Landon Donovan, a man who couldn't even get into the starting lineup at Bayern Leverkusen. Now, the best player in the league is David Beckham, who, is admittedly still good, but the fact that a castaway, washed up 33 year old comes and is instantly the best player says a lot about the quality of players here.

I've given the MLS a chance - I watch as many games as I can, and I even went to a few Red Bulls games. Suffice it to say that I was extremely underwhelmed, particularly after being spoiled by watching my Liverpool team advance to the Champions League semifinals (only to taste heartbreak by the fuzzy red head of one John Arne Riise).

The game I recall best was the NY Red Bulls vs. NE Revolution - I had very good seats at midfield, and was fairly excited for my first taste of live MLS soccer. What. A. Letdown. While there were 2 goals, including one scored by the supposed future of US soccer (Josmer "Jozy" Altidore), the entire game was a farce. Players on both sides failed to control the ball, passes were sprayed all over the field with no direction, and any and all runs at goal were direct and had no creativity whatsoever.

Soccer is fun to watch because you never know at what moment the critical breakthrough will come. Will it come from a set piece? Will it come from a masterful run by a skilled player, or from a thrilling counterattack as both teams scramble? Will it be a perfectly placed cross, or a clever link up between two creative players on the same wavelength? There are simply so many possibilities that even when there is a lull in the action, I can't help but keep my eyes glued to the pitch. Every moment Zidane, Dinho, Messi, C. Ronaldo, or my favorite Stevie G is on the pitch is another potential moment of genius and creativity. Unfortunately, there are no midfield maestros of that class in the MLS. Neither are there top class finishers who take every chance they get a la Torres. Simply put, MLS is not dynamic - it's dull, slow, and direct.

Of course, this isn't news - everyone and their mother knows how shit-tastic the MLS is. My actual complaint is the vicious cycle of suckitude that doesn't allow MLS to break out of its own suckiness despite its best efforts: the MLS sucks -> nobody watches -> nobody plays -> future soccer players suck -> MLS sucks. It's interesting though, that every child plays soccer as a youngster in AYSO, but very few stick with it through high school. They move on to the big 3 mainstream sports: football, basketball, and baseball. Why? Because they are the "sexy" sports. All the big money superstars play those sports. How do we fix this cycle?

MLS is taking the right approach. By introducing the concept of the "designated player", they introduce a bit of the glitz and glamour to playing soccer. The biggest draws to being a professional sports player for a child, whether it is right or wrong, is the possibility of fame and fortune. Before, there was no fame nor any fortune to be had playing soccer. Kids in America don't even know how much money the big time soccer players make in Europe, but I bet if wages were at a similar level in America, Lebron James, Dwyane Wade, and Kobe Bryant would be playing soccer right now.

So, as usual, it all boils down to the $$$. America is the world capital of capitalism - if there is money to be made, someone will figure out how to make it - but the easiest way to monetize a sport is through sponsorships and advertisements. It's interesting to note that the 3 major American sports, football, baseball, and basketball all have stop and go action, allowing for commercial breaks every 4 minutes of action. Soccer is two 45 minute halves of uninterrupted action! No wonder corporate America aren't fans. So, that is the question. How can we change the business model of MLS to create revenue? With higher profit margins, players can get paid more, which will raise their level of celebrity (Q rating if you will). I don't know about you but, when I was a kid, if there were no Michael Jordan, I wouldn't have been that big a fan of basketball. In fact, I guarantee that if David Beckham were here and Michael wasn't, I'd eat breathe and sleep soccer instead of basketball.

And after all that, I have no idea how MLS should rethink its business model. Here's to hoping they have smarter minds than I.

Maybe Basccerball?